TALK RECOVERY

Wanna do some writing or know someone who does? Blog Submissions can be emailed to Jason W. (GSA Web Chair) at jaywillcreate@gmail.com 

Any aspect of AA from our personal experience, strength and hope on literature, slogans, steps, traditions, service etc… The post will be published as “Jane Anonymous or Johnny Anonymous” and the link will be sent to the author.

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September 2021
In my final, sober year of college, I felt I was finally living up to my potential. I finally became a responsible adult who could fulfill obligations and be a functioning member of society.
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There was something seriously wrong with me. I was deeply unhappy, afraid of the world, resentful of other people, and blamed everyone but myself for my problems. I wasn’t eating, I spent much of my day in tears, I was consumed by thoughts that the world would be better off without me… oh, and I was drinking. A lot. Funny to say in hindsight, but at the time, the drinking felt like a background problem. What my real problem was, everyone agreed, was that I was mentally ill. 
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March 2021
I began to concentrate on the Twelve Traditions. I knew what they were but admittedly didn’t really understand them.  I was always told the steps keep the person sober and the traditions keep the group sober.
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February 2021
I can remember bits and pieces of that brisk fall night/morning (depending on how you wanna look at it). I pushed myself up after waking up with one of the worst neck cramps. I had passed out on the couch, lets back up just a minute let me rephrase that, it wasn’t “the” couch, it was “a” couch and it wasn’t mine. As I looked around, I saw that it was a couch next to a pile of boxes, a broken cabinet and 2 trash cans. Where was I?
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During these unprecedented times, the covid pandemic, so many people have experienced; loss of loved ones, loss of jobs, structured routines, and self eventually leading to increasing numbers of people turning to alcohol to pass the day and cope with drastic change.
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December 2020
Should I keep my old drinking friends or not? That was a big question in my early sobriety. Were they really true friends I wondered? I realized now how they enabled and encouraged me. Not good. But I enabled and encouraged them also.
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Almost everyone I met early in AA warned me I would lose anything I put in front of my sobriety and not to spend time in places where people drank. But I enjoyed cruises so much. I knew from years of going on cruises that most of the space was bedrooms, bars and restaurants. And the bedrooms and restaurants all had their own bars. I made good use of those bars and the all inclusive drink packages the cruise lines offered. No matter what cruise day I always averaged between 23 and 26 drinks a day...
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When I walked into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous on May 31, 2019, I wasn’t fully convinced it would work for me.  I had no idea how it all worked, I was nervous, and most importantly I didn’t want to stop using.  I’ve always believed that things happen for a reason, but this program has really made that notion clear for me.
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March 2020
I had been working with Carmen* for about six months and it was going incredibly well. She “got” me. Not only did we have similar stories and more than a couple of sobriety dates, but her thick Bronx accent reminded me of home. Unlike any other sponsor I had ever worked with, I trusted Carmen completely.
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Being sober for me is a way of life now. Yet...I had no idea what to expect when  I went to my first AA meeting. I was 26. I went because I couldn’t stop drinking and drugging and I wanted the emotional pain to stop. I was shattered emotionally. I hated myself and I was filled with so much guilt and shame. I couldn’t believe that drinking and driving had become a way of life for me. I was ashamed of all the lives I put in jeopardy when I drank. Once I took that first drink....I lost all though...
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