Being sober for me is a way of life now. Yet...I had no idea what to expect when I went to my first AA meeting. I was 26. I went because I couldn’t stop drinking and drugging and I wanted the emotional pain to stop. I was shattered emotionally. I hated myself and I was filled with so much guilt and shame. I couldn’t believe that drinking and driving had become a way of life for me. I was ashamed of all the lives I put in jeopardy when I drank. Once I took that first drink....I lost all thoughts of others. I made poor, dangerous choices when I drank as to who I was with and where I went.
Little did I know that raising my hand that day in that meeting and asking for help would give me so much more than I ever could have imagined. I learned how to get sober and stay sober. I learned how to take it all a day at a time. My sponsors and other AA friends over the years also taught me about self respect, self care, healthy boundaries, showing up for others and how to be useful. And what I have learned that keeps me sober, I have learned to share with others.
Everything that was told to me over and over again in my first 90 days, I refer to again and again. Keep it simple. Don’t drink. Go to meetings. Go early to meetings and stay late. Use the phone. Get involved. Service. Service. Service. One day at a time.
I have come to understand, I am now 54, that sobriety has been a gift given to me by my higher power. It is a gift I do not take for granted. I have been able to learn to be a good daughter, sister, wife, mother, sponsor and friend. None of this would have been possible without getting sober and staying sober....one day at a a time.
And it is a gift I never can repay. The only way I get to keep my beautiful, sober life is to keep giving away that which has been give so freely to me.
Do not leave before the miracle happens. Peace.
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